Saturday, May 10, 2008

Learning the Art of Delaying Gratification

My mind wandered to the heaven or somewhere close to it. The wind tasted like almonds on my lips. I felt the apertures of my body opened to let the beams of light enter me and nourish me with an unusual lightness. I heard someone murmuring at the distance but I can’t make any meaning out of the words though I felt the pressing weight of it on me. I relaxed my shoulders and concentrated on the voice that was ringing on my eardrums like a frightened kid banging on his parents’ door after seeing a shadow at the window.

The voice, I guess, was telling me to wait on something or someone but I can’t be sure. Ironically, it drifted farther, the more I concentrated on reaching it. It eloped from my senses and I started to lose grip of it as peace began to embrace me. I was about to be defeated by the heaviness of my eyelids when my mom strangely came out from the stacks of clouds and tapped my leg with the back of her hand. That was when I realized I was dreaming. I realized that my mind played tricks on me and led me to one of the paradoxes of existence AGAIN – to the reverie where a person can feel the most real.

“Remember that a delay is never a denial from God. In God’s time, things will fall into the right places” the priest emphasized each word.

Did he notice me sleeping? It was my first thought.

I looked around and finally came back to my senses. My mother was sitting beside me with her hands clasped together on her lap. I looked at her at the corner of my eye wondering what she’ll tell me later when we get home. She has the ability to hide her anger or irritation when it is necessary. I remember many scenarios where she appeared cool and patiently waited for the opportunity to corner me alone to storm me with words.

I was then reminded of a book that I read not too long ago entitled The Road Less Traveled. The author said that a key to a fulfilling life is learning the art of Delaying Gratification. According to him, life is like eating a cake. A person should eat the part that he likes less to enjoy the best part of the cake at the end. Work now, gain later. Sacrifice now, win later. It made sense. It somehow jived with what the priest is lecturing. Patience is the key to a fulfilling life. However, life isn’t a piece of cake.

I’m a professional procrastinator. Don’t get me wrong, I am not proud of it. I believe that every person has a monster under his bed to defeat, a battle to win. This is my monster, which described by a close friend, a humongous creature lurking under me.

While I delay things that are necessary, I get impatient to get what I want. I know that this is a bad combination but an amalgamation I cannot eradicate from my system. I have a problem with time and time has a problem with me. Repeatedly, it beats the hell out of me. It is a dangerous enemy. While I try to kill it, it slowly injures my eternity -scarcely with warning.

I think of these things while I waited for the mass to end. I tried to recite the prayers the way I sip my coffee when I’m watching a movie – intently and slowly. However, when I heard the priest’s ending cue, adrenaline pulled me out to the sun. Outside, my mom gave me an angry look and uttered ‘You wait till we get home!’

1 comment:

fionski said...

Miss Verizon! You're tagged again. Don't worry 3 people lang kelangan mo this time. Hehehe. Pagbigyan mo na ako kse di na tayo magkakasama ulit. :(
http://www.fionski.com/2008/05/who-am-i.html